What brand of dog is that?
I don't always jump out of the bed like a ninja in the middle of the night, but when I do it's because my dog is about to throw up on the carpet.
Cereal is like breakfast soup.
You know what really grinds my gears? When people walk into my room with the door closed and walk out without shutting it.
We are a same-sex couple, the housekeeper can't sort out our laundry.
When I have a FB status that a lot of people "Like", I'll sometimes scroll up and down the list of names and imagine them all in a room applauding me.
I don't always study, but when I do, I make sure it is the night before the exam.
I'm so full from all these leftovers... Ooooh, look! More leftovers!
My friend is coming over, now I have to put on pants.
I don't always buy something online, but when I do, I track the shipment every 10 minutes until it arrives.